Legends of Oonland
by Riset36
Summary: Finn didn't see it coming the morning he woke up and went to look for an adventure. In result he found a little bit more he thought he would... or wanted. Welcome to the Terra Nova, the world of Thaer with new friends to make, new enemies to fight and the whole new adventure to complete! Or rather the old ones...
1. Prologue: Victim of Bizarreness

**Prologue: Victim of Bizarreness**

It was just another peaceful day in Ooo: nobody was trying to abduct princesses, or to kill all the living on this planet, or to do one of hundreds of things villains and Ice King tried to do every day.

Nothing was demanding Finn's direct attention and by all means, he was thankful. Of course, he was always glad to help anybody who needed a hero, but having a day out never hurt, right? So that morning he got up early, had a quick breakfast without Jake and left, placing a note on the dining table:"_Sorry, bro, gone away without you. Will pick anything of value back there. Love, Finn._"

For anybody, not knowing Finn well enough, it meant he's gone to rob a bank, probably to a gold mine, but Jake knew better: it was just one of Finn's random searches for a good adventure, or maybe a little dungeon, at least. Not being surprised by Finn's lurker event, he just simply started to make his own breakfast, simultaneously ringing up Lady and inviting her to have a meal with him, using his powers to create some additional limbs to do everything at the same time, of course.

* * *

As it was said, it was just another peaceful day in Ooo. But.

Finn was wandering across the forest, randomly picking up rocks and looking below them or tapping trunks on his way, trying to find any entrance to the dungeon.

"Wish I had this heat sense of FP." He complained, bending over to another suspicious place. Maybe this action actually saved his life, as the tree right behind him suddenly exploded, sending one especially large bench right above Finn in process. Obviously surprised, and maybe a little freaked out, Finn turned back to see the reason for a tree to nearly pierce him right to another one. What appeared before his eyes was quite more than he expected: Magic Man. Luckily, he wasn't looking straight at Finn, rather just walking through the forest and randomly pointing at trees, which exploded moments after.

Being careful not to move, as every dangerous monster always reacted to a movement, Finn just decided to wait for Magic Man to walk away. Suddenly, he overheard:

"How the heck am I supposed to help you, big brother? Typical you: when I gladly offered you an awesome baldness, you just said thanks but no thanks. Hehe, not that it stopped me... But anyway! Saving a dimension I don't even belong to is insane even for me! What do you think: I am purely made of magic? Well, sad to disappoint you, but only ninety four. Ninety four!"

And at those words he turned and looked straight at Finn, standing there motionless.

"Oh, here you are! And I think I've just had a magical idea!" He exclaimed, excited. "Mind helping out a poor old man?"

Finn answered furiously:

"No!"

"But why?"

"Cause you are a jerk and butt-face!"

Magic Man seemed offended by this one, but then giggled happily:

"Oh right, you remembered my first magic life lesson! I am so proud of you!"

Finn was already backing away, but stopped for a second to ask:

"Really? So will you let me go away?"

"Of course, no!" Magic Man laughed. "This is time to learn one more lesson: sometimes you just don't have any choice! Come on, it won't hurt. I will just show you a brand new world with a little help of magic!" With these words he started to near Finn, having an ominous smile on his face.

Finn didn't understand anything of 'a brand new world', but he just got to know Magic Man well enough to realize that any his idea isn't good for him. Or healthy. So, knowing it is possibly useless, he still tried to knock Magic Man down by hitting him with a straight powerful blow of his fist. Sadly for Finn, it didn't appeal to Magic Man anyhow, cause he cast a spell seconds before, letting his body to dismaterialize where the Finn's fist trajectory lay on.

With no options left, understanding how exactly dangerous it is to fight with a person, who can do literally everything with you, Finn tried to do the thing he liked the least in the world: to run away. No that it could work, anyway, despite Finn could run really fast when he wanted. Magic Man cast another spell to transform his body into misty substance, mumbling "Magic!" all the time so maliciously he made it sound like he tried to conjure a demon to appear instead, and flew towards Finn, covering all of his body with green particles. Shutting his eyes and trying not to breath, Finn still tried to run, before hitting the tree right in front of him. Refusing to give up, he tried to stand, involuntarily opening his eyelids. What appeared before his eyes was a bright light so intensive it instantly blinded him and knocked his consciousness out.

* * *

The very second Finn opened his eyes once again, he knew something would be **really** wrong. Well, Magic Man didn't disappoint him. This time trees were twice taller than they had been. Or was he twice shorter than before? As Finn continued looking dizzily, trying to figure anything out, he heard a voice coming from behind:

"Well, young man, did my advice help you?"

He didn't remember asking anybody for an advice, nor this voice resembled Magic Man's anyhow. But what surprised him even more was that he did answer, and not of his own free will by all means:

"I am afraid no, Father. But thanks for the advice anyway."

"You are welcome, Finneas. Besides, your brethren always helped us, priests, so I am always glad to do something in return." Old man ( Finn thought it was an old man by his voice, but couldn't really find out, because his body refused to turn over or at least ask what the flip is going on ) chuckled.

This situation was overflowing with amount of weirdness, even for Magic's Man magic. Finn tried to move his right hand, but he couldn't. Instead, both of his hands were placed in front of his body, as if he was praying on his knees. Knees! That was why everything seemed to be taller: he was just sitting on his knees. Not that it helped with any other strangeness of this situation, but Finn was still glad to find he wasn't turned into some kind of runt.

_Try to call for him louder_. He heard, rather feeling these words came from the insides of his head than from outside.

Finn thought:" _To call for who?_" and, surprisingly, got an answer in a second.

_Finneas, of course, you dummy. Isn't it obvious? You are in his body with the help of my magic!_

"_Magic Man_!" Finn shouted mentally.

_Sure! And now try to concentrate and apply to him, instead of me, or you both won't be able to complete the quest._

_"What the quest are you talking about?"_

_Patience, little mortal. I will tell everything to both of you right after you will introduce yourself to this hospitable fool... I mean owner of this body!_

It wasn't like Finn had any choice in this kind of situation, but he still grumbled, not wanting to do anything Magic Mac would think as appropriate. Finally, he shrugged, ( mentally, because he still couldn't move any inch of his body. More looked like this wasn't exactly his body, though.) not seeing how it could become worse if he asked the host whether he knew why he is here. So, he concentrated, trying not to just think ordinarily but pretend to say something aloud, and it worked!

"_Hey, buddy. 'S up?_" Well, Finn still couldn't use vocal cords, but the phrase still sounded clearly inside of his head, or rather head of Finneas. While having already stood up and talking with an old priest, he was clearly surprised to hear it.

"Huh?" He said. "Who are you and where is your location?"

"Who are you talking with, young one?" The priest asked, perplexed.

"I don't know. Didn't you hear that..."

_Okay, let me introduce you to each other. Finn, this is Finneas, your employer. And Finneas, this is Finn, who is sword skills you asked Glob for. And now I should be going, but you can stay and have fun! Well, it's not like you have any choice either, haha!_

_"What do you mean by sword skills he requires? Where have you gone? You promised to explain everything! Oh, dang it, Magic Man!" _

Being clearly astonished by the explanation, Finneas still managed to come up with an answer to the priest:_  
_

"You know, I think your advice was quite useful after all. I suppose I was given what I asked for... in a very specific way."

* * *

**Well, you don't understand what's going on, right? Neither do I.)**

**Still, I've got to say something to you, as always:**

**1. This is an AU, obviously. The only thing I can say now not to spoil anything that it's a fantasy world, more in my view of what AT world would be like if it was more D&D like and less... Well, Ooo like, but it's not a D&D world.**

**And because of this here comes the second thing:**

**2. Name: Finneas Mortens/Finn**

** Age: 15**

** Alignment: Lawful Good**

** Class: Paladin**

** Weapon: for now it's an old, rusty sword _The Banisher_.**

**3. Next chapter's name is Jack the Rogue master.**

**Feel free to browse) **

**See ya later!**


	2. Jake the Rogue master

**Chapter 1: Jake the Rogue master**  
Finneas left the priest somewhat startled, but still glad his advice worked ( though he had no idea how exactly it worked ), right in the forest they have met the first time, two hours before, actually. Walking through the forest, he had to get some time to embrace himself with the fact he's hearing voices inside of his head. Finally, he tried to encounter this strange being with the similar name once again:

"So. Could you clear anything up, my friend?"

Finn gladly accepted the offer to have a conversation, because it was boring him to death not to be able to do anything with the body his mind somehow came into, leaving him no activities, aside from looking and silently cursing Magic Man.

"_Well, this morning I have been just wandering across the Ooo until I.._"

"Wait, do you mean Oonland?"

This question surprised Finn, though he still replied:

"_Nope. I am talking about Ooo._" Sencing discomfort in the behavior of his host, Finn tried to come up with another idea. "_Earth? A planet with a big hole on one side?_"

Being careful in choosing his next words, Finneas answered:

"Since the last time I checked our continent is still called Oonland. And I am pretty sure the planet doesn't have any holes on it. By the way, its name isn't Earth, it's Thaer."

The feeling of dread passed through Finn's mind. Could Magic Man not just teleport him into another person, but do this into another planet? Trying not to think of it aloud, he said ( practically, he still couldn't talk, but he was still able to converse with Finneas,as it had been before):

"_Right, let's drop it off for the time. I want to ask you if you know anything about the quest, cause Magic Man told me there will be a grand quest or something._"

Finneas blushed, before answering:

"Well, you see, I am an apprentice of the Paladin Order, and... There's a big tournament among the apprentices, so they could show themselves worthy, and I am kinda lame at swordsplay! So I just went to this forest, thinking what I could do, then I met a priest, who said I should just sit here and pray Glob to grant me what I need, 'cause the spiritual energy of this place is enormous'! And he answered by sending you into me, I suppose." Affected by a sudden confession, Finneas still continued. "I know it was the wrong to do at the first place, but I didn't really think he'd answer to me. So... I am sorry."

Finn didn't respond. For a minute Finneas thought he didn't get it, but then he felt a huge wave of anger, raising inside of his skull, strangely directed not onto him, though:

"_So, Magic Man just sent me there because you are kinda lame at swordsplay?!_" After shouting this, Finn tried to calm down once again. "T_he only way I see to get me out of this is that I will help you with this tournament of yours, and maybe this crazy psycho will return me to the place I belong._"

Finneas couldn't help but feel joyful because of Finn's statement, though he instantly felt guilty because of this. Still, he answered with gratitude:

"Will you? That's great! By the way, we've already arrived. Welcome to the city of Candel!"

Finn finally noticed they weren't in the forest anymore, instead they stood on the top of the hill, looking at the panorama of the city below them. Finn could say he has visited cities before, but they seemed more like little kingdoms, and **this**, this was a city. The thing that impressed his mind the most was a huge castle, twice, maybe thrice bigger than any of kingdoms' castles he was before.

"It is beatiful, isn't it?" Finneas said, not specifying at anything, but seemingly knowing exactly what Finn was looking at. Well, practically he was looking at it, right?

* * *

Once again, with a loud 'thump', the sword bounced off the metallic training dummy.

"_No, no, no! It should go with a 'clang', try to slash through this dummy, it's not a biggie!_"

"This is impossible! Stop trying to teach me nonsense!" Finneas said, frustrated by his repeated failures.

"_Stop talking with me aloud, or people will think you've gone insane!_"

One of other apprentices, training on the court, turned towards Finneas, saying:

"Hey, Finneas! Have you gone insane because you can't beat up that dummy?"

"_That's what I've been talking about!_"

"Fine!" Finneas grumbled, then tried to concentrate in order to talk with Finn mentally. "_Like this?"_

_"Yeah, that's it. Still, when I say something is possible, I mean it! Who is the expert of fighting: you or me?"_

_"Then why don't you try to show me this is possible, huh?"_

Finn answered, astonished:

"_Because I can't control your body!" _Not very confident, though, he continued. "_I can't do this, right?_"

"_I don't know." _Finneas thought, confused by this possibility. Then, a sudden idea hit him. "_How about we find it out?"_

_"What do you mean by..." _Finn began, suddenly fininshing the sentence aloud_. "_Finding it out? Huh?_"_

Once again, some of the students looked at Finneas nervously, as if choosing whether to make fun of him or start to run away not to be bitten. This time however, this was not Finneas to blame on, as he suddenly gave up control on his body. Finn didn't feel it before, but now it was rather as if somebody was standing on his toe all the time, and suddenly let him go... Metaphysically, of course.

"_Okay, man, I think I get it now. Just sit and watch._" He thought to let Finneas know he understood what is going on.

Carefully stretching his limbs to feel his temporary body, he realized it was not of a big difference, compared to his one. The height was nearly the same, the complexion was the same, though a little less muscular, and he could even feel locks of hair shaving down, assuming they were quite long.

"That's weird." Finn mumbled, though deciding no to think about it at the moment.

Then he looked straight at his training sword, and, all of a sudden, memories of how he/Finneas obtained this sword in the beginning of his apprenticeship started to flow through his mind. And finally, he remembered its name. _**The Banisher.**_

_"Ok, how about we banish this one._" A thought appeared inside of his head, and for now, neither of the two couldn't figure out whom it belonged to.

Once again, Finn/Finneas came nearer to the training dummy, though now Finn was in charge, which meant really bad news for the dummy. Positioning their body right in front of it, they swang the sword upside down, only touching the dummy with the tip of their sword, but sending a sonorous 'clang' across the court. Then, they repeated this action, but now thrusting the sword from the right to the left and backwards. Two more soundy 'clangs' were heard, and some of the trainees started to look at him again, quite astonished but for the other reason now, as it seemed it was a rare event to see Finneas not to suck in swordsplay. Alas, there was certainly a show for them to look at.

... With each movement Finn/Finneas slashed through the dummy one more time, fastening and fastening their movements. Then, as they felt to start wearing off, Finn decided to finish it spectacularly, and Finneas immediately came up with an idea, which was gladly accepted by Finn. Jumping high into the air, they shouted simultaneously, both mentally and aloud, both Finn and Finneas:

"**Strike evil!**" The sword ignited itself into intensive blue and white rays of colors, blinding for a moment some of the students that were careless enough to look straight at it, then cut its way through the dummy, leaving a glowing mark behind.

For a moment, everything was silent. Finneas, feeling totally exhausted, had been returned in charge of his body, when he landed on the ground, whilst Finn lost the onesness with his host and retracted backwards to the deepest corners of the mind, having only strength to think:

"_Thumbs up, man. That was fun, but I think I'll go and sleep..."_ Though he passed out, not being able to finish this sentence.

Finneas didn't have such a luxury, however. Standing up from the position he and Finn sent themselves into, bending down after jumping, he looked at the dummy in front of him, trying not to fall on his knees. It didn't react to their finishing strike for a few seconds, as if it was utterly amused by their performance and wanted to say something like 'But... But you always sucked in swordsplay.' Then, with a long, agonizing sound that sent chills down the spines of every person, who was looking at the event ( which practically meant everyone on the training court ), it fell to pieces right across the line of their last strike.

Then it all went silent again. Finneas just stood there, totally confused and somewhat embarrassed, not being sure what to do next: to run, to lose his consciousness or to simply pray Glob to become invincible, though he didn't think the last idea was actually good, because Glob **could **really grant him his wish as he found out today. And that was the moment when everyone started to applause, with some of the trainees whistling and cheering him. Everyone expect for one person, who was nobody else, than a combat expert observing the area, Paladin Dabel Terrak. He chose to just stand there, gazing at Finneas, until the trainees calmed down a bit and started to realize a higher authority didn't like his act. Then he slowly approached Finneas, now looking directly into his eyes.

"Master Dabel, I..." He started to say something, maybe trying to protect himself. Nevertheless, his true intentions were never figured out, as the paladin slowly raised his arm, interrupting his attempts.

"Normally I should scold you for ruining this mannequin..." He thoughtfully stated. "But proceeding from the fact the last time I saw anybody really breaking it was when Bill the Magister had his training session on this court, so why don't we do this? I suppose you are free to go this day..." He said, once again lifting up the spirits of the students and Finneas. "Right after you clean the mess you left." Dabel finished, sending Finneas back into despair, despite him knowing it was the right thing to do.

"Yes, Sir." He answered, preparing himself for the difficult task of dragging the corpse of this training dummy to the blacksmith and explaining to him how exactly it happened he should repair this one, instead of accomplishing his other tasks, or maybe going back home earlier this day. Dabel had been already going away, but then he stopped and said:

"And... Finneas Mortens, right?"

"Yes, Sir?" Finneas nervously said again.

"That was really awesome." The paladin said, in a second continuing his walk towards the exit.

* * *

When Finneas finally got himself out of the training court, it was already a late afternoon. Finn had recently regained his consciousness, now bombarding his host with different questions:

"_What was it all about?_"

"_Just the simple magic. Like fixing up a broken limb, or stop the blood flowing through the wound, though I have never been able to perform this one. You know, you should see me when I..._"

"_Whoa, slow down for a bit. Have you just said 'magic'? Are you a magician or wizard?_" Finn interrupted him, intrigued.

"_No, it's not like this. Look: the sorcerers and wizards are favored by another deity, Grob the Creator, whilst our patron deity is Glob the Protector, so our sources of magic are totally different. Besides, you seem to be quite familiar with Glob. Do you have the same ones back in the ...place you came from?_"

"_Yeah, but we have never meant this separation thingy, so all of them stand as the main deity without any, hmm, specifications. By the way, where are we going?_"

All of a sudden Finneas stopped, hearing:

"... Deggzone!"

He turned towards the man, who was walking across the street near him and likely said it two seconds ago and asked:

"Excuse me, but have you just said 'Deggzone'?"

The man interrupted his conversation with a middle-aged woman and answered:

"Sure. I was telling my wife this son of Deggzone got in trouble once again. They should be taking the trial on him right now on the Main Plaza. What was his name? Ah, yes. Jack. Jack Deggzone, isn't it?" However, Finneas wasn't listening to him anymore, instead hastily changing direction on the opposite, returning to the central districts of the city.

At the same time, Finn was thinking:

"Jack Deggzone. It sounds... familiar."

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity for Finneas, he finally got to the Main Plaza, the large open space right before the castle. All the square had been already covered by the crowd of onlookers. For that reason, Finneas had to make his way, incessantly pushing people aside and apologizing.

"_Why do they hold a trial right on the square? Shouldn't they do this in some kind of special building, maybe castle?_" Finn asked, confused by this 'mob event'.

Finneas chose not to deepen in the subject, simply answering:

"_The ruler of the city believes in the publicity of justice, or something like this. More importantly, we should get closer to the center to... Oh, here we are_!"

He finally managed to get towards his destination, which lay near to the large plinth, where stood a few guards, couple of paladins and a middle-aged woman with a golden tiara on her head. She was discussing something with an arrogant-looking noble ( or so silently agreed Finn and Finneas: that he was a noble of some kind, and he really looked mean) on the side of this plinth, then, at the moment Finneas made his way out of the mob nearer to the plinth, she frowned, having an irritated look on her face and, no longer conversing with the noble, announced with an unexpectedly loud voice:

"Let the trial upon Jack Thesarius Deggzone, the son of Jeffro, begin!"

Everybody went silent. Then, a circle of guards in the middle of the plinth broke, revealing a short-heighted, clumsy-looking person with a stack of golden hair on his head. He immediately recognized Finneas among the others and waved to him, saying:

"Hey, buddy! Looks like I've got myself into trouble... again."

At the same moment a very similar thought appeared in the minds of two fellows, despite the different purposes of its emersion:

"_Oh, dang it._"

* * *

**What the heck is going on? Well, when I said 'this is an AU', I wasn't actually kidding.**

**Here is the stuff for this and the next chapters:**

**1. Name: Jack T. Deggzone**

**Race: halfling **

**Age: 29**

**Alignment: Neutral Good**

**Class: Rogue ( well duh )**

**Weapon: a straight sharp dagger _Golden Fortune._**

**2. Next chapter's name is Lawsuits' Complications.**

**See ya!**


	3. Lawsuits' Complications

**Chapter 2: Lawsuits' Complications**

"And I tell you I didn't steal that one! Come on!" Jack shouted again, overly frustrated.

... The whole trial process was pure madness for Finn: all people were screaming something, actually nearly everything, while Jack and the crowned woman were having their 'private' dispute.

Speaking of her, she had a noticeable outlook: dark purple dress with an iron armor plate seemingly sewn right into its top, light brown eyes and long purple-dyed hair, covering her ears. Her face could be called beautiful, if not for an exhausted and determined expression frozen on it. And the crown with a single blue aquamarine encrusted into its center finished the picture: beautiful, yet dangerous; beloved, but not being possibly able to love in response.

"This isn't funny, Deggzone!" The monarch cried in response. "How many successful major thieveries were performed by you in the last five years? Fifty six?"

"In fact, I believe it was fifty seven." He answered casually. "Do you remember when I stole the jewel right out of your crown?"

"You are impossible!" she screamed and cursed in the language Finn didn't know, but some of the citizens seemed to be quite shocked, perhaps understanding exactly what she had said.

"_What did she say?_" Finn asked his host, or should I say, his alternative self, as Finn started to realize recently.

"_Well, I guess it will be better if you never find out_." Finneas answered, twitching and slightly blushing. "_I didn't really know the Elder Tongue could be used to speak in such... expressions."_

Meanwhile, the show on the stage was going on.

"Mind your manners, highness! I do confess I have stolen a couple ("A couple?!" somebody mumbled in the crowd ) of valuable things, but I have returned everything! And you didn't even have time to offend me! So why is this time different?"

The monarch looked to be more and more astonished by Jack's behavior, and possibly embarrassed by her previous outburst. For those reasons she had to calm down and respond only after she got herself under control.

"We were speaking only about your **last** five years. What had you been doing before?" She asked, and Jack didn't find anything to answer for the first time. "Are you keeping silence? Very well, I will say it: you were the thieves' guild master of this city. And I wouldn't be surprised if you returned to your old shady ways." Then she sighed and continued, almost whispering. "Your father wouldn't be proud."

It was a bulleye, hitting its target straight into his most hurtful location. Jack dropped his gaze down to the floor and answered:

"I know it. Still, I didn't steal this one, believe me or not."

"I am sorry, Jack, but if you don't show us where you hid the scepter, or somebody else confesses he has stolen it, I will have to send you behind the bars. Lead him away!" She ordered to her guards.

Suddenly, Finneas spoke out:

"Princess Bobblegome ("_Oh Glob, I should have foreseen that._" Finn thought.), Your Highness, what if someone could prove Jack is innocent? Will you let him go?"

The alternative version of the Candy monarch waved her guards to stop, and looked at Finneas for a while, as if trying to judge, how sane he was. Then, she finally replied:

"You are Finneas, right? I do know Jack's parents were the ones who found you and were very kind afterwards, but I don't really think such a person would be an appropriate company for the future paladin."

"Hey!" Jack complained behind the guards, but Bobblegome chose to ignore him.

"Why wouldn't you face the facts? Jack isn't like his father."

However, Finneas was pretty insistent:

"Will you let him go?"

Unexpectedly, one of the paladins, who preferred to stay away from the conflict, decided to interfere right at the moment:

"Princess, do have some faith. If anyone can prove Jack's innocence, it will be one of us. Even a paladin apprentice is capable of many things."

She sighed, surrendering , and answered:

"Very well, Finneas. If you, with a huge help of Glob himself, are able to find the scepter and return it, **and **its kidnapper isn't Jack, then I will officially claim his innocence. However, you should do so till tomorrow, because the announcement of the sentence will be held in the next day."

"But, your..." Finneas tried to object.

"The trial is over for today!" Bobblegome said, finishing the event and not leaving any space for continued debates.

* * *

"_Soooo. Would you please repeat everything you have been saying for the last five minutes?_" Finneas asked his 'guest' once again. The square was now empty, but he was still hanging out there for no apparent reason. Besides, he needed some silence to comprehend what Finn tried to explain to him.

"_Look, I don't understand the whole thing myself, but Bubblegum always told me..._"

"_Stop. Do you mean Bobblegome?_"

"_That's exactly the thing! Jack is my brother Jake, Peebles is your Bobblegome and I am you_!_ Just in different universes!_"

"_That's totally crazy!" _Finneas shouted mentally, not wanting to accept his line line of facts._ "How could you be me?_"

Finn groaned, astonished by his stubbornness. Well, he couldn't expect anything else, because practically it was still him, right?

"_Just listen. You were adopted and Jack is your adoptive brother..._"

"_Nope. I am living in the paladins' dormitory and just sometimes hang out with Jack. His father, Joffrey, found me in the destroyed village after zombie invasion and wanted to raise me as my own son, but paladins said I've got the Glob's blessing and it would be better to leave me among the priests or the paladins. He chose paladins because, as he said himself, they do fight at least. Sometimes. But Jack is still like brother to me, this is right._" he sighed, depleted by his long confession story. "_Do you have any other evidences? Cause if you do, then spill it out quicker, I still need to think how to get Jack out of this mess._"

Finn pretended to scratch his chin thoughtfully, but since he couldn't control the body, it was pretty lame.

"_Okay, I've got something._" He said after a while. "_You want to become a hero, crawl through the dungeons and do the righteous stuff._"

To say he was amused by the answer is to say nothing:

"_Not really. Sure, I will always do everything, which is right and kind, but I am not into fighting monsters that much. Maybe, after I graduate, I will just stay in a village somewhere and protect it from evil..._"

That was **so** unadventurous, that Finn himself started to doubt his theory. There was only one way to check out.

"_Bobblegome. She is into science, right? Always saying magic is a myth and science rules and junk."_

Once again, he was wrong:

"_Yeah, she is intelligent, but she just can't say magic is less important: the whole world is surrounded by it! And there are many powerful and helpful magicians in this city, who are her friends and..._"

"_This universe is upside down!"_ Finn screamed inwardly. "_Okay, I didn't want to bring up this one, but you made me. You had a crush on her!_ _You had a crush on Bobblegome!"_

The answer to him was silence. Finally, in a few minutes, Finneas answered:

"_Fine. You are me. Have you got any ideas how to get our brother out of jail?"_

He simply said:

"_I am no a plot mastermind. Let's go ask the one._"

* * *

Finneas still couldn't get how he was convinced to get to this point. It was dark, dirty and they were being chased down by probably all the criminals in this city. All the process before seemed to be quite logical, but heck, if it was actually logical, then he wouldn't end up like this, would he?

* * *

Almost four hours ago.

"Okay, okay, Jack. Do you have any ideas how I could take you out **lawfully**?"

They sat in a small, dark room, divided into two parts by the bars with a tiny wicket. Obviously, Jack sat by the **other** side of the room.

The answer didn't satisfy him:

"Not really. Almost anyone could steal the scepter, though I should admit it requires a certain amount of skill. To think of this, most professionals of this city are working with the guild right now, expect for me, of course. But it is even worse! Such a precious prey should be held right in the treasure room and there's no way, and I mean **no way**, to steal it without my help! So we get right to where we had been: we need to break out of there."

The history didn't save the answer Finneas was preparing to it: he simply didn't have a chance to. Suddenly, a manly voice was heard right over his left shoulder:

"Could you please discuss a little louder how you gonna take him out? I think the guy in the left part of the jail hasn't heard it yet."

Dreadful sensation passed down his spine, he slowly turned over to see a widely grinning man. With a governor's signs on his helmet.

"Relax, guys! And do speak quiter, seriously. The fact this cell room is isolated from the others doesn't mean you can shout all over the jail about breakout." That was a relief. Somehow managing to swallow the lump in his throat, Finneas asked:

"But if you are not there to get us busted, then why?"

The governor took a short pause, as if to actually consider why he is here.

"I did know Joffrey and you, Jack, very well back when you were a child. Don't you recognize me?" He asked, coming nearer to the bars.

"Uncle Cashew!" Jack instantly yelled.

"Cashew?" Finneas asked dumbfounded.

Governor frowned before answering:

"Long story short: my parents did have a really strange sense of humor. Nevertheless, I know exactly Jack didn't steal the scepter. Could you answer the question: why do you return everything you stole not before a day passes?"

Jack didn't pay much attention to the question:

"Well, I guess that's just my style of work. A certain detail, you know."

However, the governor going to take it as an answer:

"You may have forgotten the reason behind this, but I do remember clearly. That very night, when Joffrey came there five years ago to drag you out, what did he say?"

This time Jack strained his mind, instead of taking it seriously. Finally, he responded:

"He said I will never steal anything unless returning it back to the owner until the day and night will change for once... Or some junk like this. So, I think I am just doing it to tribute him or something. Sounds like a good psychological mystery to me!"

Finneas groaned: whenever it came to psychology, Jack couldn't be stopped. He was shortly followed by Finn, who also added:

"_I know how you feel about it. Of all things, why should it stay the same in this universe?_"

Luckily for them, governor interrupted Jack's possible trip into his verbal self-analysis:

"Actually yes, but not exactly. When he said you will return everything, he had a strong argument to support his words: he asked a wizard to cast a spell on you."

"He did what?!" Jack shouted.

"And told me not to worry about you anymore." The governor finished easily. "Sadly, I can't just let you out or the next morning they will sentence both of us instead of just you."

"This doesn't make any sense. Why is it Jack who is the first suspect? What if... Excuse me, Sir Cash... governor, sir. Whom did this scepter belong to?" Finneas spoke out.

"It is the family relic of Kerckwill." Governor reacted, surprised. "What does it have with.."

"Tall, nasty-looking, could speak unpleasantly with princess?" Finneas continued.

"A little blurry, but yes."

"And what blazon does his family have?" Finneas continued stubbornly.

"A sword with... I get it! It is **that** Kerckwill, isn't it?" Governor yelled, forgetting about his own request. He was shortly followed by Jack, though.

"But it means!.." Then he smiled maliciously. "I think I've got a plan. And you guys will like it."

"_What are you all talking about?_" Finn asked Finneas, obviously confused.

"_Just listen to the plan and you will understand everything, Finn. Just listen._"

* * *

"Remember: you should return before the next morning." Governor said after they finished the plan construction. By that time, he had opened the cell and let Jack out. "And Jack." He pulled out a golden dagger out of his uniform. "I found this among your belongings when we captured you. I think it should come in handy."

"It's crucial!" Jack exclaimed, jumping into the air and picking the dagger right out of surprised man's fingers. "Thank you, Mr. Walnutte! Now it will be a piece of cake."

Governor groaned in response and asked, almost pleadingly:

"Just Uncle C will do the thing." Then he added as Finneas and Jack started to walk towards the jail's main entrance. "Good luck, my friends. You will need it."

And the luck was with them. They didn't have any problems in avoiding patrols through the jail, nor they were in trouble, passing the entrance gates: the guards simply weren't on their posts, as the governor ordered them to leave earlier this day, which was gladly accepted.

The real problems should have started on the streets; yet, strangely for even that late hour there weren't any people at all. Not that Finneas and Jack complained. This way they made it right to their destination: the sewer hatch.

"Seriously, Jack, couldn't you find another place for your base, not that nasty?" Finneas grumbled, covering his nose with one hand and using another to descend, carefully holding the stair staples.

"Exactly!" Jack laughed. "It is so nasty no one sane will look for it there."

Well, Finneas couldn't argue with it.

Once they came down to the bottom, Jack said took the lead, choosing the way Grod knows how, so that Finneas soon could say he will die, not finding the way out, if something happens to Jack.

Suddenly, Jack stopped right in front of the dead end and said:

"This is it!"

"Not that I doubted you, Jack, but for me it looks like a solid wall."

He rolled his eyes, saying:

"Just sit and watch."

He pressed his gaze against the wall, occasionally mumbling and touching it in different places. Then he took out his dagger and thrust it into a discreet slot. The dagger shifted immediately, covering the whole gap, and right after it the wall started to open. Jack started to walk into the newly formed pass and pecked his dagger, saying:

"Needed to break two fingers without you, sweetie."

"Oh yeah, dear? I think you will have more than two fingers broken this time." Someone said from the dark space behind the opening.

In a blink of eye, it was all lit brightly; two scoundrels stepped from beside, blocking the possible way to retreat and the whole room was seen to having been crowded by all kinds of wretches and rascals as well as jewelry. And in the center of it stood a pale, brown haired person with a terrible mustache of the same color.

"Stephany!" Jack grumbled.

"Exactly, my friend. Are you that opinionated you thought nobody else knows about your 'secret' passage?" With those words, he mockingly took the scepter from behind his back.

Finn shouted mentally:

"_This is it! Now!_"

And Finneas gave up control on his body.

* * *

"And what if someone will wait for us in the vault room, Jack?" Finneas asked back when they were discussing their plan.

"They most probably will." Jack admitted. "That's when you make your move, Finneas. You need to take it quickly, so no one would be able to react."

Finneas didn't look convinced.

"Come on! They will expect me to do the thing, not you!" Jack continued.

"_It will be all right, man. Just lend me your body for a minute._" Finn spoke out.

Finally, Finneas slowly nodded.

* * *

Finn quickly ran towards Stephany, pushing him forwards and snatching the scepter out of his hands. Then he backflipped back on his previous position, thanks the ceiling was pretty high. He adjusted his movements, looking around at the startled villains.

* * *

"And then what?" Finneas asked.

"And then we run!"

* * *

So this is how exactly Finneas ended up in such a situation. Even worse, he couldn't control his body, as Finn was the one in charge. Not that it was exactly the bad thing, but still...

Shortly after the spectacular show, Finn dashed towards the exit, dropping one man on his back by a hook set with his newly acquired scepter. He was closely followed by Jack, who was running extremely fast for a person with such a short constitution. They could clearly hear Stephany's voice from behind, shouting:

"Get it back! He will kill us all unless you **don't get it back**!"

This was like a boost for two companions, speeding them up towards the exit.

... And then they ran. Finn or Jack didn't turn over in order to check if they were lost, instead they found another hatch, quickly climbed upwards, shutting it back on its place afterwards and ran another half a kilometer across the deserted night streets until it was clear they weren't followed by anyone. Finn gave up his control, falling down and mumbling:

"_Oh, man. Controlling your body is quite tiring, you could work out or something._"

Surprisingly, Jack didn't look exhausted. He came over to Finneas, saying:

"And now this is my part of the plan, buddy. Go back and wait for me."

"But Jack, I could help you out in this one." Finneas complained, not very determined as he felt weariness all over his muscles.

"You did help, Finneas. That backflip was flippin' awesome! But now, it is exactly the thing I am good at." He winked at his friend. "Go have some rest, you will need it not to junk up anything on the trial."

Finneas didn't argue this time, instead he slowly stood up and said:

"Good luck, Jack."

"Right in my hands, buddy. Right in my hands..." He could hear, but he didn't know where Jack was exactly, as he seemingly dissolved into darkness.

* * *

It was nearly the morning when Jack returned back into his cell room, accompanied by disgruntled looks of Finneas and the governor, sitting on chairs next to the bars.

"What?" He asked. "I need to meet... one person."

Finneas rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what person Jack visited last night.

Governor yawned, saying:

"Looks like I've got to leave, my friends. Good luck on the trial. I will be right there, watching the show." He stood up and went outside the room.

In fifteen minutes a guard came to pick Jack towards his supposed destiny for five or six years, depending on the circumstances. Finneas was determined not to let that happen.

* * *

"I will represent and protect the rights of my client on this trial, your highness!" Finneas loudly announced, trying not to laugh.

"_If they knew what you're going to do..._" Finn smirked inwardly.

"Very well, Finneas." PB ( she is still practically PB, right? ) answered.

The trial was held once again on the plinth, only this time Finneas stood right next to Jack. He slowly started:

"As I understand, you accuse my client of stealing the golden scepter of Fransis the Hero?"

"Yes." The monarch shortly answered.

"Belonging to Kerckwill?"

"Yes."

"Whose identity, and the fact of scepter belonging to him as well, were checked?"

"Yes!" Bobblegome replied more impatiently.

"Have you checked his house for any evidences the supposed criminal could leave?"

"Yes!"

"And of course, you have checked the fact of scepter being missing, haven't you?"

"Of course they did!" She shouted at Finneas. Then she turned towards one of her her guards with captain's epaulettes on his shoulders. "Did you?"

* * *

"He most likely wouldn't even let the guards in." Jack added during the plan's discussion. "He has the power to do so and he doesn't want guards to dig into his dirty deals."

"Why do you think he has some 'dirty deals'?" Finneas asked.

"I have been to his treasure room twice." Jack simply answered. "Half of his valuables in it are stolen."

"What were you doing in his treasure room?" Governor asked astonished.

"I think the real question is what he was doing in his house." Finneas looked at Jack intensively.

* * *

The captain twitched uncomfortably and answered:

"In fact, your highness, Sir Kerckwill asked..."

"Then do it now!" She screamed and added, calming down. "And bring him over with you. I want to ask him why he interferes into the guards' work."

* * *

"I don't know what researches Princess Bobblegome is doing right now, but perhaps something is going really wrong, which is pissing her off, excuse my Low Tongue." Governor said. "And you just need to play on it in your speech."

* * *

In ten minutes, a guard and Kerckwill returned. And the guard had a certain golden scepter in his hands.

* * *

"I have visited his home a couple of times." Jack said. "To... stop smiling, you two! So I know exactly where his treasure room and his cabinet are. And he doesn't go there really often."

* * *

"It is impossible!" Kerckwill shouted. "I myself..." He cut his speech quickly.

"You yourself what?" Finneas asked, smiling.

"Checked it yesterday. It wasn't on its place!"

"Why would you do so, if it went missing **three** days ago, huh? Didn't you expect to magically return, did you?"

"I... I... It was you! You have returned it back!" He pointed his hand at Jack accusingly.

"He couldn't do such a thing." The governor, who stood there in crowd, in fact enjoying the show, suddenly said. "I was with Finneas and Jack all the time; they didn't leave the jail."

* * *

"He has too much influence, as it's clear he managed to make Princess to quicken the process, so we won't be able to accuse him of hiding the scepter in the bandits' outpost. But he won't dodge the sentence for false accusation." Governor said. "Miracles do happen, but not in that case. Besides, it will hurt him even more: he won't be just a lier, but a lier that stupid he didn't even think of hiding the scepter in another place instead of leaving it right on the place it was supposedly stolen from."

"He has power, influence and dirty deals with thievery." Finneas concluded. "So he will most probably order the thieves to hide it in their outpost."

"And this is where I come by." Jack said. "I do know a secret path towards the treasure room, I built it myself actually. It would be nasty, but I can open the door. After that, we will just need to return it back into his house. "

* * *

"But why you done it?" Bobblegome asked Kerckwill.

"I will say it: he hated me for dating his niece, Lady Rainbow!" Jack exclaimed.

"Is it true?" Bobblegome demanded.

Kerckwill's expression changed from the confused one to undertanding and then hateful. He whispered, though no one could hear him, and only Jack was able to understand the meaning by reading on his lips:

"Congratulations, you brat." Then he shouted. " Yes, I confess! I have accused Jack because I hate him being with my niece."

"For this one, I sentence you for a half-year dungeon!" Princess announced.

"But your highness, the laws say..."

"A year dungeon! The trial is over!" She announced once again.

* * *

**Heh, that was funny: writing a detective story. Though it's not actually a detective, but whatevs. Here are the thingies for this and the next chapter:**

**1. Yes, Cashew Walnutte stands for one certain guy in the 1st season. Just look at his name. )**

**2. I would like to clarify this one: the patron deity of Jack is Grod the Artist, as the thievery is art, just illegal.) Sorry for forgetting about one of the most important D&D-like universes. From this point, every important character will have a patron deity, though there will be only four of them, obviously. Oh, and the patron deity of Finneas is Glob, of course.**

**3. Next chapter's name is The Devilish Bard****. Yeah, you know who it is.) Get ready to applause! XD**

**See ya!**


	4. The Devilish Bard

**Chapter 3: The Devilish Bard**

When the trial was finished and everyone started to leave, Jack and Finneas wanted to follow their example. However, Princess Bobblegome stopped them, saying:

"And now guys, you gonna tell me how it **really** happened."

Finneas gulped, even though they had agreed what to tell in that case. Apparently, Jack looked pretty nonchalant, starting with:

"Well, we just came up with our best guess that this guy wouldn't try to deal with any dirty scum, so we..."

However, Bobblegome wasn't looking at him or even listening to him. She was looking straight at Finneas, who had already started to twitch nervously and even sweat. Finally, he gave up:

"It's just we knew Jack couldn't steal the scepter because his dad asked a wizard to cast a spell over him, so we manipulated we will find it in a thieves' hideout, found it and tossed it back to the Kerckwill's house!"

She didn't look surprised:

"I knew I couldn't trust this Walnutte! Well, I will forgive him this one, but if he ever again... Nevertheless, why were you so sure it was Kerckwill who was responsible? Unless you are trying to say you made me to imprison an innocent man..." PB finished menacingly.

This time it was Jack, who answered to her, glaring angrily at Finneas:

"Because of my... not so lawful past, and weird present... ( "_Yeah, having a bet with your girlfriend that you could steal anything from her uncle's home is kinda weird_." Finn thought and Finneas couldn't help but smile at this one, trying hard not to laugh, which earned more angry glares from Jack.) As I was trying to tell, I knew exactly that Kerckwill had steady relationships with various illegal guilds, so it seemed pretty obvious to me he would try to hide the scepter, then accuse me of stealing it. I hadn't thought about such a possibility before Finneas made sure Kerckwill was the uncle of my girlfriend and I know really well how he hates halflings because of the war between my and his nations. ("_That kinda resembles my world's history. Weird. Seems like our universes aren't **that** different._") I don't want to play a cool guy, but if not for him, you would never have caught me five years ago: he was the one, who employed me to steal that carriage and then called for the guards." He stopped to let the monarch comprehend the information, then asked her:

"Could we go now? I and my big-mouthed brother wanted to throw a party. Besides, he needs to go train his sword skills."

She slowly nodded:

"Okay, I do have some important things to do, as well. But you should promise you will never tell this to anyone else."

Finneas and Jack looked at each other, then said simultaneously:

"We promise."

* * *

"Thank Grod I thought about the possibility of you spilling it out, or else I had a heart attack on the place, Finneas." Now there were only Jack and Finneas, standing at the square. Finneas looked back at him sheepishly, answering:

"Sorry, friend. It's just..."

"Nah, I am not blaming you. I know you had a soft point on her in your time." He smiled mischievously.

In response, Finneas flashed bright red, yelling:

"Don't bring up this one, Jack. I was young! Besides, I feel really bad when I am lying, that's why I told it to her. And you should have seen her eyes, all demanding and accusing and..."

"... Beautiful?" Jack mockingly finished, earning brighter color of red from Finneas in reward. "I am seeing you trough, buddy. Come on, don't you really need to practice? There is only one week left!"

"Right!" Finneas yelled, starting to jog towards the direction the training court was located. "See you in "The Third Leg" at the evening."

"_The Third Leg?_" Finn wondered.

"_It's a tavern."_ Finneas explained."_Well, __one day the future host of this tavern got_ _really_ _drunk..._"

* * *

"Let's drink for Finneas, my brother and the best lawyer ever! Barman, drinks for everyone!"

They were sitting in the pub later that day, having a little party for the Jack's case lucky ending. Everyone cheered, as they all knew Jack well because he was a frequent guest and a good friend to many of them, although many people Jack didn't even know who they were also met the phrase about free drinks enthusiastically.

"Well, I seriously don't know about being a good lawyer." Finneas shrugged, sipping his apple juice. "I am not that good at lying."

Practically, he was on the weekends that day and the day before, but these were also the days when the students were allowed to visit training grounds in order to train their sword skills. Most of them chose not to lose the opportunity, expect for the certain one, who preferred to hang out with his so-called brother instead...

* * *

... That day Finn didn't let him to catch a breath: he made Finneas to repeat everything he knew about fencing, which wasn't quite a lot, on the training dummy and then started to teach him some new moves.

"_Up and down, try to find his weaknesses!_" Finn shouted inside of his head.

"_You are telling me to find weaknesses of the dummy?_"

"_Heh, no. Imagine it's a nasty monster, try to find his most vulnerable spot: an eye, a crystal in the center of his body, and then hit! Yeah, that's what I meant, now repeat it two hundred times more, we've got not so much time!_"

Finneas grumbled in response, once again gaining his postition for the strike...

* * *

"Hey, buddy! Are you alright?" Finneas suddenly heard. It was Jack, who was actually standing in front of him and looking worriedly.

"Huh? Yep, I am all fine, Jack, just thinking." said Finneas, snapping out of his memories. Jack opened his mouth to say something else, but this was the moment, when **she** went into the tavern.

"This place have become kinda lame since I visited it last time."

Everyone turned their heads in astonishment towards the entrance to see the newcomer. She was a tall lady with hair of raven-black color, combed so they didn't cover her pitchy ears, but the most notable detail in her appearance was the color of her skin: the ashen-grey, with a bit of light blue.

"_It's her!"_ Finn yelled. "_I knew she exists in this universe as well. Don't know if it is good or bad thing we met her, though._"

"_What do you mean you don't know?_" Finneas asked. "_Who is she?_"

Finn tried to explain the matter, despite not being very sure:

"_Well, I don't know how it is in your place, but when I first met her..._"

"And now, weenies, you gotta get going out of this place!" She said, walking closer to center of the tavern, met by the complete silence in response.

"_Yeah, that's the thing she did. Wait, is she doing it once again?_"

"And what if we don't want to?" Calmly said the bartender, going from behind the bar stand to face the strange visitor. To his amusement, she smirked, saying:

"I am glad somebody asked. Then this!"

Swiftly moving her hand to the backside, she loosened the belt on her shoulder and rapidly turned around, taking out the object Finneas couldn't see before that moment.

"Is it a lute?" Someone laughed from behind. He was soon joined by several others, who found it funny to be threatened by the lute. However, the bartender didn't move or say anything, seemingly waiting for the continuation. He didn't need to wait long.

"It's not a lute." She answered, paying a little less than no attention to the loudening laughs and jokes. "It is a bouzouki!" With these words, she played a single chord, pointing the grief at the table nearby. The result was devastating: it suddenly exploded, covering the nearest sitters with bruises, the cause of which were splinters of no more existing table.

Surprisingly, the barman didn't move an inch from the place he stood, though his face went dreadfully pale. He spoke out with his voice cracking:

"Everyone, get out."

The visitors were astonished by his words; they could think something like:"Hey, is she that cool to take out everyone in this pub?" Bartender seemed to understand this, as he continued:

"It is of no use. It is **her**. I myself remember how she threw away everyone from this very tavern forty years ago."

Everyone gasped at this statement because if the barman was looking quite well-aged, the gal certainly wasn't.

"Who is she?" Finneas demanded, and before anybody else could say anything, the adolescent-looking stranger answered for herself:

"I am Marcia, and you'd better no mess with me, weenies."

* * *

**Well, hi! 's up? Just wanted to add a little thingy for the chapters, as always:**

**1. Don't bother looking at the previous chapter's update, just correcting the mistakes I am too embarrassed to leave.**

**2. Here she goes!**

**Name: Marcia Abadeer. ( and when I am not changing a second name, I am doing it for a purpose.)**

**Race: half-elf, half-demon. Sorry guys, no vampires in ****_"my"_**** D&D-like universe.**

**Age:You aren't going to ask a lady what her real age is, are you?**

**Alignment: true neutral**

**Class: Bard**

**Weapon: well, she doesn't actually call her bouzouki anyhow, but our well-known Lord of the Evil used to call it _Revenge of the Ancients_**

**Patron deity: Grod the Artist, though you will not find her worshipping him in the temple.**

**3. The chapters' length may vary widely because of various reasons: my motives ( what I want to write in it: introduction, action etc. ) and my laziness. I can only tell that everything I want to write will be written sooner or later. **

**4. The next chapter is Daddy Issues.**

**See ya!**


	5. Daddy Issues

**Chapter 4: Daddy Issues**

Everyone was grumbling, while they were leaving the tavern. However, they wisely chose not to argue the host's authority, as he surely knew better, who is not to mess with in his own pub, right?

That I should say, everyone, except for Finneas. Jack stood next to him, trying to convince him:

"Come on, buddy! She is most certainly bard and they are kind of people, who can junk you up by just playing something! You've seen it yourself!"

Suddenly, Finn also interfered:

"_He is right, man. She's not got any awesome vampire powers as I see, but smashing the table with playing the lute isn't lame. Besides, if it's Marcy, she sure has a reason to do so._"

Finneas sighed, answering to both of them aloud:

"I know. But my codex won't allow me to stay and watch as she just messes with that lot of people. I need to stop her."

The voice from behind him said:

"To stop from what? Got any problems, boy?"

Finneas hastily turned only to see Marcia grinning widely.

"How did you?.."

She chuckled, saying:

"Just a quiet chord of invincibility magic, going behind you and the case is solved. Do you still believe you could stop me?"

Finneas shook his head stubbornly, answering:

"It is not the matter in what I believe." Then he told Jack. "Go to the paladin's dormitory, tell them what's happening, bring them over to this place. And for Glob's sake, Jack, hurry up."

"I hope you know what you are doing, brother." Jack answered, looking terrified at Marcia, before leaving.

Now there were only Finneas, Marcia, that didn't seem worried at all by his last words, and the bartender, who was standing next to the door. He nodded approvingly to Finneas, but his words weren't quite comforting:

"It's not like I could stop you, right? So I will pay for the doctor. Or the funeral, hope it will not come to this one. Good luck."

With those words he stepped outside, shutting the door behind him and leaving Finneas and Marcia the only ones inside, if you don't count Finn, of course.

* * *

"_What the math are you doing?! She's your friend!_" Finn grumbled bewildered.

"_How is that?_"

"_In another universe we are buddies, so it's just logical you should be also._"

Finneas was standing next to Marcia, his sword drawn out and pointed at her. However, she just casually stood there yawning, with her bouzouki lowered.

"_I will not befriend anyone who is so careless to the others' well-being. Why is she doing it, anyway?_"

"_I don't know. Maybe she's chilling out there or something. Why don't you ask her yourself?_"

Finneas frowned at this remark, though he still opened his mouth to ask:

"Marcia, right? What's it with you? Why are you doing this?"

She lazily looked at him, answering:

"You haven't earned the right to ask me anything, weenie. Are we going to fight or not? I have an important meeting arranged today."

Finn quickly observed the situation, concluding:

"_Okay, then it's up to fighting. No offense, but you will need me to stay alive. So, could you move over a little?_"

Finneas didn't argue with this one. Once again, he gave up the full control on his body, still being able to readjust and guide Finn's movements. The thing was he didn't think of not letting Finn take charge of his vocal chords.

"How do we fight? Until the first blood or the guts all over the walls and the ceiling?" Finn said, swiftly moving the sword in his hand. "Let's head with the first, 'cause I don't want to clean up the mess after it."

Well, you could say Marcia was slightly amused by such an self-confident sentence. She finally took herself in the fighting position, saying:

"You sure have a nerve, kid. But if you ask me..." She started, and then moved towards his direction at great speed, holding her mandolin as if she wanted to smash it against Finn's head. It did happen that was **exactly** the thing she wanted to do.

"... I prefer the fast knock-out punches!" Marcia ended, hitting him with her instrument. Or so she thought. No blocks, no epic backflips with counterattacks, Finn just ducked, allowing inertia of Marcia's strike to drag her sideways. She didn't expect that one, certainly, but she still did manage to jump away to the safe distance, not letting Finn to strike back. He didn't even attempt, though, instead he just stayed, where he stood, and smiled mockingly:

"Not fast. Not knocking-out. Not a punch."

"Okay, cool boy, how about this one?" She exclaimed, starting to play her mandolin. As expected, the invisible ray of power made its way from the grief towards Finn's stomach really fast... it would have, if Finn had still been on his place. Time slowed down for him, as he dodged the strike by jumping to the left and processed the information around in order to achieve his goal. And his goal was to piss Marcia off as much as possible.

* * *

"_What the flip is happening?_" Finneas asked after Finn dodged the third beam of energy in a row, occasionally angering Marcia even more, by saying "Missed", or "Are you even trying to hit me?"

"_Look, dude, didn't want to sadden you, but there's no way I could win Marceline in normal conditions. So the same goes for this place, I guess_." Finn answered, jumping upwards to dodge another strike, now sent in form of a horizontal wave instead of just a beam of energy.

"_What are you talking about?_" Finneas wondered confused. "_You haven't even been touched!_" To prove his words, Finn avoided another strike by throwing the near-lying table into it. By that point he could say he had completed his objective, as Marcia, who stood five meters away from Finn, was **utterly** pissed off.

"_Nah, she's just warming up. Our only chance is that she will let off steam and get exhausted **before** we are got killed._" Sadly for him, Finn was a little distracted while responding to his counterpart, which resulted into him not noticing the beginning of Marcia's another attack.

She let out a long, horrifying wail before charging towards Finn once again. The thing that changed was her now swinging her bouzouki the same time she ran, fast enough Finn couldn't even determine where the final strike will come from. When Marcia closed to the startled human, she suddenly changed the way she wielded her musical instrument thrusting it forward in attempt to pierce his body. He didn't want to know if she could do so, but he didn't have much spare time. Because of this he made the mistake he had always tried to prevent, when having fun battles with Marceline: he blocked by his sword.

The impact send him several feet backwards, right on the table behind him, luckily still with sword in his hand. Lying among the shards of the newly-broken piece of furniture, added to the seemingly very long list of those by the time they would have finished, he still managed to think:

"_I've been telling you, haven't I?_" With a loud groan, he tried to lift up, only to catch the glimpse of Marcia running towards his direction, now holding her mandolin the way it didn't leave any doubts she would hammer it down on his body. Wisely deciding not to face her directly once again, Finn rolled to the right, gaining himself a straight position, while Marcia missed a hit, slamming her mandolin right on the place Finn was a second before. Incredibly, the instrument didn't mind such a violation of its real purpose, as there was not even a single crack on it, when she picked it up to strike again.

* * *

Next two minutes Finn spent attempting to stay alive: dashing from the strikes, jumping away or tossing anything towards the beams, that sort of things. His plan was **not** working: Marcia didn't even think to stop, the fact was the more they fought, the more exhausted Finn got himself. For some reasons, it was quite a tiring experience to control his host's body, not just phisically tiring, but mentally, as well.

After Finn got himself out of the mandolin-sledgehammer's way one time more, Finneas spoke out:

"_Need some help?_"

"What do you mean? I've certainly got it." Finn answered, heavily panting. "_Oh dang, did I say it aloud?_"

"What did you say?" Marcia asked, stopping for a second.

"Nothing. Let's get back to killing each other?"

She chuckled in response:

"You certainly got spirits, weenie. Not that many people could actually stand till this time."

Finn brightened up for a little:

"Does it mean I earned the right to ask questions?"

Marcia frowned:

"Look, it's my personal biz. Call it... family problems. I just need this tavern for one night."

"One night? It isn't that much." Finn said, relieved. "So, I could just be going..."

"Nope, I am afraid you couldn't." Marcia answered, mocking regretful expression. "You should have listened to me long, long before." With those words, she started to play her mandolin once again. The only thing different was she had been only playing chords before and now it looked more like she started a melody. "It's all about my rep, you know? I can't allow people to mess with me, and then leave unharmed." Her eyes suddenly glowed bright red. "And you've just messed with me so **much**."

Unexpectedly, the chair, having lain peacefully somewhere on the floor a second before, flew towards Finn's head. The amused hero had only a moment to duck in order to save his cranium from a few unrequired cracks in it. But it was only the beginning.

* * *

"_Come on, Finn! If we are about to die, at least I want to do it **controlling** my body_!"

Finn was quite busy at the moment, dodging elements of furniture, that for some reason wanted him dead as soon as possible, but he still found a second to answer:

"_Do you have any plan? 'Cause it's useless if you don't have any plan anyway._"

Finneas did have a plan, though he wasn't fully sure of it:

"_Do you remember the first time when we tried this out? I think we could do that much, because we were working together and now you are taking charge of my body all alone! Let's try it again, it doesn't seem we have any other choice._"

Finn slashed the chair, which was about to slam into his abdomen, by a swift move of his sword. But he could already say he was losing, and if no miracles happened, very soon it would end up for him pretty bad. Looking at the tip of the sword, he finally thought:

"_Fine. I agree._"

The next moment he couldn't recognize his own thoughts clearly: the feeling was as if he had been split into two people and he also felt like he was finally united with a missing part of his mind at the same moment.

Finn/Finneas quickly looked around the mess the insides of the tavern now represented. Marcia stood in one place, her eyes shut, only her fingers were moving, playing a tune quite slowly, but still they could feel an effort she put into it. Nevertheless, it wasn't like she meant to stop it anytime soon: three more chairs levitated from the floor, wishing to take revenge for their fallen brethren. It was not going to happen.

They positionized their body into defensive position, awaiting for attack. The very second the first chair was about to hit them, they striked it with a lightning speed, then performing one vertical and one horizontal quick slashes to finish off two others.d it with a lightning speed, then performing one vertical and one horizontal quick slashes to finish off two others.

Quickly running towards Marcia, they hit her mandolin split second before the impact, attempting to break it or at least knock it out of her hands. The result wasn't quite comforting: she managed to jump backwards, instantaneously playing a chord, and that time they couldn't deflect it. Hardly landing on their feet a few meters beside, they still stood up again, preparing to strike once again, however, Marcia didn't allow that to happen.

The next chord sent chills down their spine, but surprisingly, nothing happened at first. In a second, it seemed like the storm let loose right inside of the tavern, as she started to play another melody, really hastily this time. **Every** not nailed to the floor object flew up, creating the whirlwind. And the eye of the storm was Marcia, standing next to the only thing that didn't flow: one of the supporting balks of the building.

* * *

"Got any new plans?" Finn asked, not having any time to concentrate properly, while hacking anything that tried to kick his butt and did it more aggressively than the others.

"Only one." Finneas answered, also aloud, which was quite weird-looking. Not that Marcia cared, completely consumed by the complicated tune she produced."Let's find if your friend is actually evil."

* * *

The plan was constructed and discussed, with heavily armed arguments from the each side. Now, slashing through the chairs, dodging the tables and trying not to get killed by the bartender's bar stand, which flowed past them occasionally, all they needed was a little opening. Something to stop Marcia from playing, something to distract her for a moment, in other words, they needed a miracle.

And it did happen! All out of sudden, one of the chairs broke through the window, making the shattering noise of broken glass to stop Marcia to look at the source of the distraction. And that was more than enough; Finn/Finneas ran through the mess, making their way under or above the confused pieces of furniture. She turned to see them only few feet before her, tried to play something else, but out of frustration all she could manage was a sound, very similar to an angry rumble.

"_**Strike evil!**_" They shouted, wielding their sword sending a horizontal arc of blue energy through Marcia's head, being careful in the sword itself didn't make contact with her body. However, it didn't seem to harm her:at first she just stood there, and then she got it, cracking into laughter:

"Strike evil, hahahahaha! Read these two words on my alignment: **true neutral**!"

The unmoving hero, who dropped his body on knees out of exhaustion after his strike, still managed to smile back:

"Two words.** Falling ceiling**."

Marcia immediately looked upwards to see innumerable cracks all over it. Quite shocked, she only managed to wonder:

"How?.." ... before the roof fell on her, quickly followed by the shards of the supportive balk Finn and Finneas were really aiming at.

* * *

"Still don't believe I actually let myself to agree." Finn mumbled, tossing away last pieces of roof from Marcia's unconscious body.

"We've been discussing that already!" If someone had watched the situation, it would have looked like he was arguing with himself."If she's not evil, which she isn't as we found out, then the strike won't damage her. The same doesn't go for the unanimated objects, though."

"Okay, okay, I got your point." Finn answered, finally dragging Marcia out to the point of floor, not covered by the chairs' shards, roof's shards or shards of any other origin. "Hey, Marcia. Wake up!"

"Not now, mommy." He heard in response. "I will get my breakfast later."

"Okay, let's pretend I didn't hear that part..." Finn said, quite embarrassed. Then, an idea hit him: "Hey Marcy, that guy said your music is kinda lame."

He was quickly rewarded by Marcia opening her eyelids widely and screaming:

"Who is he? I'll kill him!" Then she saw Finn, smiling at her nervously, gazed at the hole in the ceiling and finally grumbled: "Oh man, don't you say you actually won me."

"Seems so." He responded, rubbing his shoulder.

"So, how am I supposed to fight him?" She complained, hardly standing up, walking to the pile of roof's remnants and picking up the mandolin, which somehow managed to not to get buried under the rubble. Finn tensed up, preparing himself for another round ( he should have let the dame to get her weapon before another round, he is a gentleman, after all ), but Marcia gestured him to relax:

"Chill out. I am not going to fight you anymore. In fact, I will recommend you to leave as soon as possible for your own sake."

"What are you talking about?" Finn asked, still pretty confused.

Instead of answering to him, Marcia looked at the clocks, which hanged on the wall above the place, where the bar stand used to be. Wonderfully, it was the only piece of furniture that was not broken. And the clocks struck the midnight the very second she looked at them.

"Too late. He is coming."

"Why, why, if it isn't my daughter?" Suddenly said a manly voice, its source located somewhere in the darkest corner of the tavern. In a moment, the humanoid-looking demon made his own way towards two startled combatants, revealing a business suit on him and a devilish smirk on his face, which Finn still could see in his nightmares. Yep, it was the only and one Lord of the Evil himself.

"_His daughter? This is him! The Soulreaper! The Evilest thing in the whole..._" Finneas started to shout inwardly.

"Mr. Abadeer?" Finn wondered, completely awestruck. Well, you could say so for Abadeer, who looked like he was punched in his guts the very second he heard his name.

"What are you..." He started, but the very second the door was was suddenly slammed hardly from the outside, followed by the order:

"Open the door! Now! I am not giving you the second chance, bard!" Apparently, the one who hit the door didn't believe Finneas was of match to Marcia, which actually was true if we don't include Finn in our little situation.

"Gah, this is disturbing!" Hunson grumbled. "Let's finish off in my place."

Time slowed down for Finn once again, but for now he was sure his reaction wasn't the cause. His guess was proved, as Lord of the Evil started to create the void, which emanated strangely, in the center of the hall. As he finished, Finn felt he was being sucked into it with invisible, yet very powerful force.

"Come into it." He said. "Or I'll make you!" He added delightedly as if the very idea of forcing anybody made him happier.

Unexpectedly, Marcia came without complaining, immediately disappearing in the portal as she neared it. Then Hunson turned his gaze towards Finn, saying:

"You too, strange puny mortal."

"Hey!" Finn complained, but, nevertheless, followed his orders. He hated to admit it, but he wasn't in condition to fight Lord of the Evil right at the moment. Going nearer to the portal, he felt weird, like the void wanted to suck not all of his body, but one part of, intangible, yet very important...

"Yeah, yeah, it wants to suck your soul." Hunson said, seemingly ( or actually) reading his mind. "And you'd better pass through it as soon as possible if you want this thingy inside of yours to stay with you."

Finn came closer, and closer, until...

* * *

He stood in the large empty hall in the Nightosphere and he had no idea how he got there. The portal (if it was nearby) had dispersed a while ago, and it was likely he stood there quite a long time, as Marcia and her dad were amidst the heated debate, paying no attention to him.

"... a lute? That's not what I thought when I gave you our family spear-sledgehammer as a birthday present! By the way, how did you even manage to do it?"

"You've just got to have some friends who can work on artifacts' transmutation. Though, he really freaked out when I showed him what I wanted to change. That's not the matter anyway! What kind of father will try to take his birthday present back?"

"I didn't take it all back, only the spike, 'cause you need to prove yourself worthy of it, which I don't feel you are!"

"Ah! You are impossible!"

"And you are little..."

That was the moment when Finn chose to interfere:

"Whoa, chill out, guys. What's the matter?"

Hunson Abadeer immediately stopped, confused. It seemed he had already forgotten about Finn, but then it hit him and he smiled, answering:

"Huh, it's you, weird mortal. Haven't found out they somehow managed to put two souls in one body. You are like a birthday present for me!" He exclaimed. "And I am eager to tear you open." He smiled maliciously, his head shifting into demonic abyss for a moment.

"Wait, two souls?" Marcia asked. "What the flip are you talking about?"

"Don't look at me like I became moronic." He answered. "I am never mistaken in terms of how many terms I am about to suck."

"And it looks like you did! How could mortal have two souls?"

"Don't you say you know better..."

"Would anybody tell what the heck has happened between you two?!" Finneas exclaimed, completely tired of listening to their quarrels.

"_Huh, that was pretty tense._" Finn commented mentally.

Both daughter and father stopped, looking really menacingly, a little too much for Finn's test. He had already prepared himself for a long run across the Nightosphere, when Hunson suddenly blurted out:

"It's all her fault. Look, I gave her a family weapon and she made the lame lute from it! And she returns there after three hundred years just to show it to me and go away! Three hundred years is a **lot **in the Nightosphere."

He was shortly followed by Marcia:

"It's not a lute, it's bouzouki! A mandolin with a long neck, if you prefer. You've already said I can do anything with it I want, and then you suddenly go all pushy, when I show it to you! Why did take the spike back? It isn't stylish now, and quite misbalanced!"

"Wait, wait!" Finn tried to calm them down. "Is it really that biggie? Why doesn't Marcia just sing a song about how she loves you, but you stole her fr... I mean, spike, and just get going on this?"

Marcia and Hunson looked at him, dumbfounded. Even Finneas was quite confused by the idea, though he didn't say it aloud.

"That's not how Lord of the Evil and his daughter are supposed to interact." Hunson finally said. "Let's just stick to the big fight we hold each forty years in that funny place."

"Agreed." Marcia responded, reading her weapon.

Well, up to this point Finn had had it enough.

"_Do you think what I think?_" He asked his counterpart, tossing away his sword.

"_Yeah. Let's try the shock therapy._"

* * *

As Marcia and her father were about to clash, they had completely forgotten about Finn, and that was a big mistake. He jumped towards them, just beside Hunson, and didn't lose a second before ripping the Nightosphere amulet out from his neck. The second after he made a summersault, stomped on the Marcia's head and took the mandolin out of her hands. Being far from finishing, he rolled sideways, threw the amulet on the floor and wielded the bouzouki above it, preparing to strike right on the eyes of really amused father and daughter.

"I just wonder what would happen if I tried to destroy it, huh?" Finn triumphantly announced.

"Don't do this! You will destroy everything in a kilometer radius and release the evil greater than me!" Hunson shouted, absolutely terrified.

"And damage my bouzouki!" Marcia added, frightened as well.

"Then you'd better make up this quarrel before I do so! I am counting: one... two..."

"All right!" Lord of the Evil ( now in his underwear ) blurted out. "Here, I am giving back the spike." He said, picking the abovementioned item from his... mouth? and handing it to Marcia.

"And I am taking it back, not even complaining how gross it is!" Marcia said, taking out the gloves from her pockets, putting them on and only then taking the spike. "Gotta burn them when I get out of this mess..." She muttered under her breath.

"And now apologize to each other!" Finn ordered.

"What?!" Hunson and Marcia shouted in unison.

"Apologize, or I flippin' have no idea what is about to happen!" Finn repeated, clearly reading the mandolin to strike down.

"Fine!" Marcia yelled. "Dad? I am sorry for making an awesome bouzouki of our family weapon..."

"More honest!"

"I am trying, ya psycho! I didn't want to disappoint you dad, okay! I just thought like 'Hey! Dad would love if I somehow put my music talents in combat use and made our family weapon even more amazing', but if you don't like it, then..." She lowered her voice. "... Then well, I am sorry." Her father didn't answer, instead he just stood there, with a weird expression on his face, most similar to him being about to tune up. "Dad? Are you... crying?"

"Of course no, I don't have any tear ducts." He answered, suspiciously squishing. "It's just... Well, I don't care about the lute thing!" He blurted out. "It was just the only way to make you go visit me regularly. You know that time flows really differently there, so it was always like eternity to wait before you remember about your old man. So I am sorry, Marcia!" he finished, almost whispering. "I am really sorry."

"_That was... so nice._" Finneas thought.

"Okay, guys." Finn said. "If we are finished there, how about creating a portal and sending us back to our dimension?" He could imagine lots of arguments against his wish, beginning from Marcia's dad could not create the portals without his amulet and ending that he'd like to suck his soul (or souls, whatever ) the most painful way after what he'd done.

To his surprise, Lord of the Evil didn't complain, muttering while he was creating the portal behind Finn's back:

"My soulbag aches each time I am looking at you, anyway."

Still holding the mandolin in one hand, Finn picked up the amulet, neared to the place where he left his sword, threw the mandolin to Marcia, instantly picking up the sword in his arm, and came to the portal. At its entrance he asked Marcia:

"You coming?"

She looked at him weirdly, before answering:

"Nope. There is a full squad of paladins, waiting for me there." Then she glanced at her father. "Besides, I think I could stay there and hang out with you for a while."

Shrugging, Finn slowly put the amulet on the floor and entered the portal. He could still hear them conversing for a while, though:

"... and take over family business?"

"We've been already discussing it, dad!"

* * *

Finn was back in the empty tavern and it seemed not even a second passed during his absence.

"Ok, we are coming in! Don't say we didn't warn you!" Said the same man, who had previously ordered to open the door.

When they crashed into the tavern, all they saw was Finn standing amidst the absolute chaos: broken chairs and tables, a gap in the roof, that sort of thing.

"Where is she?" Asked one of the paladins. There were three of them with Jack, who also entered the pub, running towards Finn:

"Hey, Finneas! Are you alright?"

Finn answered to both of them:

"Yeah, I am alright. And she isn't there. She kinda... fled to the Nightosphere split second before?" He partly offered the solution to his dilemma of not telling the whole truth ( because nobody could be that crazy to believe him anyway ) and not lying, partly told it to the paladins, not being sure it would work.

But it did. One of them (apparently, the one who was their leader, and was quite a honorable guy, being nice enough to warn anybody inside the tavern before breaking into it) said disgustedly:

"Was she a demon? As expected from those Glob-forgotten creatures." Then he looked around, whistling. "And you sure did well surviving this one, apprentice. Hope you will show yourself on the tournament as well."

* * *

As Finn and Finneas were returning to the dormitory, Finneas suddenly thought:

"_You were right with Marcia. She is not evil._"

"_Did you figure it out when the paladin's strike didn't hurt her or when she was expressing her feelings to dad while we were holding the weapon of massive destruction in our hands?_" Finn asked jokingly.

"_Kinda both times._" Finneas laughed mentally. "_And Finn..._"

"_Sure, buddy?_"

"**_Could you finally give me my body back?_**"

* * *

**Sorry for late update, had a couple of exams. For now, I have only one thing to say:**

**1. Next chapter is 'F' stands for fire! The very reason why I included FP in my story tag is about to show up. Get ready!)**


	6. F' stands for Fire!

**Chapter 5: 'F' stands for Fire!**

"_Gah, it's boring!_" Finn complained for, maybe, the 124th time.

Three days passed since the memorable events in the tavern. The host nearly passed out when he saw his facility's condition next morning he returned and wanted to forbid Finneas to go into his tavern for life. Luckily for Finneas, he had Jack. And Jack had lots of money, ( though he didn't explain how he gets it now, when he is stealing just for fun, thanks to his dad ) so he offered to pay for the full restoration of the tavern in exchange.

"I didn't like the atmosphere of this place, anyway." He said. "Somebody needed to go there and mess junk it up long before."

Three days passed, and it means the weekends were over for Finneas, who had to stay in the dormitory for the day long, study until the afternoon and practice at the training grounds till the evening. You can say Finn took quite a liking in teaching Finneas how to handle his sword, but he certainly got bored to death with lessons.

It was the lesson of General Lore of Oonland, somewhat like history and geography combined, nearly the most boring thing Finn had ever encountered, even Princess Bubblegum needed quite an effort to compete, though it wasn't **the** most boring thing. When there were Math levels, Finn's mind fell onto anabiosis and he refused to come out of it till it ended.

"_How could you actually be interested in it?_" Finn complained for the 125th time, as Finneas listened ( or tried to listen ) intently to the teacher, who was explaining history of the emergence of a small village somewhere thousand miles eastwards from Candel.

"_How could you not be interested?_" Finneas wondered, to Finn's horror, truthfully. "_What do **you** do when you need to learn where the place is located?_"

"_I will go into the dungeon and get the map._" Finn answered, as if it was the matter of fact.

"_And if you need to know how to win a monster?_"

"_I'll learn how to punch it in the dungeon._"

"_And what if..._"

"_Dungeon! Dungeon is the answer to everything._"

Finneas grumbled in response, astonished by Finn's ignorance to education, and, sadly for him, teacher heard it. He stopped his lecture to ask Finneas:

"What, Mr. Mortens? A little bored? Then how about you get there and tell us all you know about the Fire Kingdom!"

They were sitting in the classroom on coaches, with a table in front of every student, and the dimension of it was not you could call 'sparse', so everyone heard both the grumble and the teacher's remark. All of them looked at him, somebody pitifully, others expecting a show, as Finneas made his way walking round the coaches to get to the map, where teacher waited for him. Finneas didn't look nervous at all, but Finn surely got awestruck.

"_Fire Kingdom? Like you guys have your own Fire Kingdom?_"

"_Not so boring now, huh_?" Finneas chuckled, being careful to do it quietly now. "_Just listen with the rest of the class._"

As he came nearer to the map, he bowed to the teacher, saying:

"Excuse me, it will not happen again."

Then he turned to the class and started:

"The Fire Kingdom is located in the southern part of the continent. The region is dry, with many volcanoes taking place there, though grasslands and forests are also situated in the area. Its inhabitants are mostly humans, with many wizards specializing on the fire magic born in those lands, as well as famous merchants, mercenaries and... "

* * *

When the lessons finished, Finn yelped inwardly out of happiness and thanked Glob there hadn't been any Math lessons that day.

"_And now we've got to go practice sword skills!_" He shouted enthusiastically.

It was the turn of Finneas to complain:

"_Man, can't we just make a break this day? How about we go hang out in the city?_"

"_That attitude is the reason why we ended up in such a situation at the first place! If you had paid more attention to training rather than this nerdish lesson study, you wouldn't have needed my help. Now get to the training grounds, quick!_"

"_I do have exams with the other subjects , you know, so I need to study them as well. Come on, you've just got me down by the time: I just can't lift up my arms, not even speaking of wielding a sword!_"

Actually, it was quite true and Finn could say it himself, when he took over the control to show Finneas a new move.

"_I won't be able to grip a sword on the tournament if we continue like that_." Finneas went on his persuasion attempts, and he was taking some ground.

"_All right, dude. But I will squeeze the juice out of you next day!_" Finn said, finally giving up.

"_Great! So we are going to the market now, you will love it!_"

"_Huh-huh._" Finn suddenly started to regret his decision.

* * *

Well, after the first twenty minutes Finn could say all his regrets were to go in vain. The market was amazing: magicians and adventurers were crossing the lines, looking for something with such an appearence like they were saviors of the world ( much like Finn did when he was to delve in a market, the thing is he was pretty much the only hero of Ooo ); merchants and sellers were everywhere, offering nearly anything imaginable and something Finn couldn't even imagine before he saw it. Every minute he annoyed his host by phrases:

"_Couldn't you look on the left? I think I've seen some really cool stuff there._"

Or:

"_Look at her a little longer, I didn't think you can dye your hair in such shade of blue._"

Poor Finneas, who wanted to **enjoy** his market visit, was quickly losing his temper:

"_Did you know it's impolite to stare? What's it with you: have you never seen any people before?_"

To his surprise, the response was affirmative and a little bit sad:

"_You can say so. They tell I am the last human in Ooo for today._"

There was no way Finneas could know it, though he still felt terrible of offending Finn.

"_Sorry, Finn._" He tried hard to check the topic and suddenly came up with just a thing. "_Hey, don't you want to tell about any of your friends, so I would be able to know what to prepare for the next time? Cause, you are apparently a magnet for their counterparts, as I see._"

Finn got really impressed by the idea of introducing his friends to Finneas ( having the very feeling when you are about to tell your friend a spoiler ):

"_Let's see. Lumpy Space Princess? No, she is pretty too much gossiper and a royalty, so she should hang out somewhere near to the castle if she doesn't have any kingdom here. What about Abracadaniel? The guy should be pretty cool wizard here! No, no, then he will stick to the other wizard guys! Let's look for someone else. Fred the Talking Pineapple? No. Duke of Nuts? Huh, now I get it, we've already met that guy! Flame P... Oh, I know: do you guys have Ice Kingdom?_"

Listening to Finn's inner monologue was quite interesting, but Finneas was happy he ended: it messed inside of his mind too much to concentrate, so he had some difficulty even to direct his movements.

"_Well yes, we do. Why are you asking? It isn't the nicest place in the world._"

"_I am asking, cause we are buddies with the Ice King!_" Finn answered excitedly.

"_What? You are friends with that psycho? Don't you say he is not evil as well!_"

"_He is not evil, the thing on his head is! Crown overtakes your mind and corrupts you with the powers of ice and snow. Or so I read in the old book PB gave me once. And even so our Ice King isn't exactly evil, he is more like absolutely crazy and besides, he lives with us, since I... Nevermind, let's drop it off. By the way, what's with you asking if people are evil or not?_"

Finneas didn't really care of the answer, simply tossing:

"_I don't mind evil if it takes itself in the prison without my help._" Then he finally paid attention to where they were walking too, luckily for him: it's a little bit hard to walk through the solid wall. "_Whoa, seems we've got a little too carried away! Need to return..._"

And that was the moment Finn proved himself of being a magnet to his friends' counterparts once again, in the way neither him, nor Finneas had expected: somebody fell on Finneas right from the sky.

* * *

With a short scream, quickly turning into groan of pain, the girl rolled from the awestruck and groundstuck paladin apprentice, then retreated nearer to the wall, embracing her injured leg.

A second later, Finneas got himself off the ground, looking around bewildered. The street was a little deserted and narrow ( which he was taken aback by, because he didn't remember that kind of streets near the market ) and ended with a dead end on one side, but aside from this, the street was quite regular, with no signs like 'Warning! High possibility of girls falling from the sky.'.

Then he turned his gaze on the girl. She had long read hair and emerald green eyes, she wore long dress made of the material even redder than her hair, and, most noticeably, she didn't have any shoes on her feet. Not really understanding why he is doing so, Finneas looked more carefully at her face, as if he was looking for any familiar features in it, which he obviously couldn't find, as he had never met her before...

... But Finn **did**. And when he recognized her, his mind fell into chaos. Finneas could hear snippets of his thoughts, more crumbling to the emotions right at the moment:

"_No way!.. She isn't... I am not... Dang it! I thought I am over with issues about it! Dang it, dang it, dang it! Glob dang you, Magic Man! Seriously Glob, couldn't you keep your brother from..._" Then it was over: Finn retracted his thoughts back to his 'part' of mind, leaving Finneas astonished and intrigued.

"_What is it, Finn?_" He tried to ask, but Finn didn't answer: he was too busy with talking with himself and sending whichever curses he could invent on Magic Man's head.

Nevertheless, Finneas was still looking at the girl beside him, and she looked at him in response for a second, before groaning again. He then turned his gaze to her leg, which she was holding between her hands and apparently was the reason of her bad condition.

"Are you injured?" Finneas asked, immediately understanding how dumb his question was.

"Of course I am, you idiot!" He was rewarded by the answer. "Now go get some help or just go away, I don't care!" She was interrupted by another wave of pain, making her yelp and embrace her leg tighter, now pressing her head to it.

"_Her voice... It's the same voice!_" Finn exclaimed, not taking in account what the voice had said and returning back into his own mind-stuffed mess.

"I could help you!" Finneas said, trying not to pay attention to Finn's and the girl's remarks. Before she could answer, he got himself nearer to her, bent over and took a grip of her ankle, madly blushing in process. The reaction was not surprising: she yelped once again and tried to shake Finneas off, constantly achieving even more painful sensation in her leg.

"What are you doing?! Are you pervert?" She shouted, causing him to blush even harder and yelp in denial:

"No! Just try to stay still while it's working, or..." Apparently, his palms were glowing bright yellow right at the moment, but the girl wasn't in condition to notice it.

Finneas tried to use a simple spell to heal her seemingly broken ankle. However, the creator of the spell didn't think the patient would try to resist, which led to it notorious instability, while the abovementioned tried.

Luckily for the stranger, it didn't affect her in any wrong way: her ankle was fixed up pretty well. Unluckily for Finneas, though, the violent shaking while he was performing the spell resulted into him being thrown onto the opposite wall, when it was over.

He lifted himself up, with a little difficulty this time, and walked cautiously to the girl again, being careful to take safe distance this time, while she got up, slightly amused that the pain was over.

"You really fixed it! I should probably say thanks to you." She said, starting to walk towards him.

"Why, no problem..." He started, but was quickly interrupted by her smacking on his cheek. By her hand, not pecking, that's it.

"And this is for touching me!" Having taken some satisfaction in her actions, she then continued casually. "And now you should show me the way around, I need to get to..." She suddenly stopped, catching a glimpse of bright glowing.

"What is it?" Finneas asked, staring at what used to be the dead end of the street.

"Those jerks found me!" The girl answered, hiding herself behind Finneas, having forgotten he was apparently the same 'pervert' she was trying to defend herself from.

Out of the solid wall ( which was glowing, but hey, that's not an excuse ) stepped three men, all holding staffs in their hands and dressed in rich robes, dyed in colors prevailing of red and orange. The main one ( Finneas made a lucky guess, because he stood in the center and he was talking ) spoke out, instantly recognizing the girl behind Finneas:

"Step aside, lowly peasant."

"_Man, I know you have some problems, but I could really use your help right now._" Finneas pleaded, but Finn didn't answer. Giving up, Finneas prepared himself for defense, because there was no way he had listened to the wizard, of course.

Seeing Finneas taking a defensive position, the wizard chuckled:

"Usually, I am not that noble, but I am in the good mood right now. So I will say it again: step aside. She is to go with us." Finneas didn't move an inch, instead ordering the girl:

"Run!" She didn't listen. Seemingly frozen, she just looked at the wizard with a mix of terror and disgust, not saying a word.

"Well, you should know who you are to die for at first." The robed man smirked. "She is Flora Phyris, the..." He wasn't given the chance to finish, as Finn, who suddenly took control of his host's body, did it for him:

"... Princess of the Fire Kingdom, right?" Having been rewarded by the astonished looks of three wizards and the girl behind him, he ended his line. "I am so danged up at the moment. Guys, you are **really** not in the right place this time."

* * *

**Long chapter, short chapter, huh) Here are the thingies:**

**1. Name: Flora Phyris**

**Race: human**

**Age: 15**

**Alignment: chaotic neutral ( we will have been working on it. )**

**Class: Sorceress**

**Weapon: none, aside from what fire-specialized sorcerers do on the battlefield. You know, fireballs, flaming sheep from the sky)... Oops, a spoiler. Heh, not really for those who know FP.**

**Patron deity: Grob the Creator.**

**2. Next chapter is Race through Inferno.**


End file.
